An Early Morning Unexpected Gift

A message notification. I looked at the clock. It’s 7am. I wasn’t supposed to be waken up for another 15 minutes more. In the morning, I’m stickler to the time with military precision. Gosh, it must be him again, with his usual morning greeting. Don’t get me wrong, it’s sweet of him but, it did kind of bring another question …what is he trying to do here? Cuz I know it’s not just for me. The train of thoughts began once again. Arggh, I just want to wake up carefree, ready to conquer my day whatever.

I read the message. Good morning. Check the mailbox, Santa brought a gift.

Hmmm, I must be dreaming. I’m too lazy to analyze this. I shut my eyes. In my analysis, I could get another 10minutes of sleep. But then, in between my vortex of dreams, I was wondering what was the message about? Maybe he brought back the pendrive I borrowed him and left it in the mailbox on his way to work. Well whatever. It can wait.

Wait, it can’t be that simple. Did our past conversation lead to something like this? I don’t recalled. This is getting weirder. And I couldn’t go back to my 7minutes sleep-off time. (my term for the remaining time I have before another round of snoozes) Dammnit. Think.

OMFG. He did not just get me McD breakfast, did he? No, we just met and this sort-of over-the-top gesture was once performed by my good fren’s bf trying to patch things up with her. It means this is something special. Personally, McD Breakfast somehow, has always had its’ magical moments.

Screw the sleep-off time. Jumped out from my bed, went to the window to peek. Having mixed feelings. On one hand, I do want to see the McD take-away pack. On another, I know
I wouldn’t know how to deal wit the “questions” that came along with the gift.

A brown package on the top of my mailbox, with a distinct red M. I remembered the first word that came out from my mouth. The F*** word. Well, in my defense, it’s early morning, I stayed alone and this is too much to deal with. And yeah, I skipped the ladylike lessons last time.

This is definitely a first. And what’s more. It’s McD breakkie. Nothing is more magical than McD breakkie. Note to self, McD seem to be play a role in my romance endeavors. How should I response to this? He is just a friend I just met, and technology made it easy for us to communicate with relatively no strings attached. And I just couldn’t bring myself to tell my gal pals about it, have a discussion about it ala SATC. Personally, it’s not I don’t trust them but it will acknowledge it is something or nothing. Basically threading deeper water. Not that I don’t like it or that it’s mess. But, for sure, there will be questions and the anticipations. Something to nothing. Nothing to something. And it’s only 7.20am.

Shit, I have to get ready for work. So basically, this will be one unforgettable morning which I’m still figuring it all out. And been keeping it quietly from everyone.

To be continued???

The late night moments…

Most of the times, I’m just a girl with a story. But on some nights, I’m the girl in the story. And this is one of those nights.

There are some nights when I found myself completely alone and vulnerable to my emotions. The memories finally found me. I’m the type that bailed, I run away… from problems, troubles and memories I don’t want to remember. Everyone has their defense mechanism so this is mine. Silly because it never worked. I know. You can’t run away from your own mind. But I keep on trying to run from it.

This song brought back some memories I have been running away from for years. A sane person, or me during the daytime would have change the song or press “delete” and move on. In this late night, I feel I’m paralyzed, totally enchanted by the sweet sweet melodies from the piano, the wrath of the violin strings and it’s soft simple ending. And then, like a gush of wind, the memories rushed back to my mind. How did I get the song? From my close guy friend that I now could no longer look at him in his face. Who played this piano piece to me through a phone call? From my ex best friend practising it for 6 hours non-stop, that we had to walk away from a doomed toxic friendship of 4 years.

How could it all happen? I find myself asking. How did it all ended up this way? When I first heard this song, I was just so so happy to have this song in my possession. The music is eternal. It’s from everywhere and nowhere. Ageless. Perfect. I didn’t foresee what would have become of this song in my life. The song has become my “La Douleaur Exquise“; the exquisite pain.

I do miss her. I do wish things didn’t turn out the way it has been for me, her and him. I do wish I could proudly share this song to my people in my life now, proudly tell the story of its origin in my life. Definitely not like this.

Sometimes, things just don’t turn out the way you intended it should. I will keep running when the daylight appear. And in the some late night moments, the memories would have caught up with me.

A bunch of silly little girls

A high schoolmates reunion. A bachelorette party. A bunch of gals getting together, looking some fun times. A weekend gateaway from the city. And that pretty much summed up this photo.

True they said, a pictures worth a thousand words.

It’s magical how it came to that. A very shy 8 years old girl in her uniform wandering alone during recess time. Still clueless, still afraid of her surroundings. Still looking out for her mum and dad to take her home. Then, a girl approached her and asked her to join in their game. Quite quickly, she was not alone anymore. She made a friend.

She has a group of friends. Just a bunch of little girls hanged out often, talked about silly little things, little gossips about boys. As years progressed, the girls grew up into wonderful individual ladies ready to conquer their world, but still, every time they reunited…. They transformed back into the same bunch of little girls laughing at silly little things.

So one of them will be embarking on another journey. A commitment she will gladly make with her partner for the rest of their lives together. A lot things will change and more with that group of friends. But one things for sure, every time they reunited, it will that same bunch of little girls all over again.

Adele is no longer chasing, she is rolling….

Who?

Adele of course. British singer who is quietly taking the world in storm with her newest album “21″. It’s not Lady Gaga type, or Katy Perry type and certainly not Selena Gomez type (yup, I’m anti-her for obvious reason). She is the one and only Adele.

At the age of 19, she already won some Grammies with her debut album “19″ (Chasing Pavements). A low profile true artist who only used her voice to sell and that is more than enough.

Her second album “21″ simply put it…Mind-blowing!! In my humble opinion, her music is not easily appreciated these days (with the likes of Katy Perry or Lady Gaga etc) but if anyone would take time to listen, they would be totally mesmerized by the quality of her voice, how it seem she put her emotions bare-naked in her songs and transports her audience to the scenes in the songs as if they really belongs in it. Totally totally mesmerizing.

The album started off with a fiery upbeat “Rolling in the deep”, one would imagine an angry heartbroken gal who decided she had enough and start destroying any evidence of the love she had with some jerk. Imagine house on fire with the gal walking away….wait, it is from a movie (I Am Number Four but well, in a different sense)

With “Turning Tables“, “Don’t You Remember”, she seem like going through the recovery phase of a toxic relationship. And with any step of recovery, there are those phases resemble closely to the Kübler-Ross Model, commonly known as the The Five Stages Of Grief aka Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

My personal fav is “Set Fire To the Rain” The chorus is just too powerful, it seem to ignite the deepest fire in one heart; a conflicted internal battle between screaming of pain and crying out for hope to be saved.

In the end, it’s over. She accepted that everything is truly over and she realizes, she did come out from the ordeal as a much stronger person in “Someone Like You”. She stopped hating the guy, the bad memories slowly faded out and she is able to hold on to the good memories.  The last song is truly a great artistic work. Just a simple piano arrangement with her powerful voice and one will be blown away to a place we all hate to admit we had one….the lost of a true love.